During a coaching session last week my client had their biggest “aha” moment when we got to talking about their “why.” This became a big deal for them because as we worked our way through values clarification exercises they were getting caught up on previous goals set by themselves. And whether they were valid to their life anymore.
We talked about their propensity to create big, amazing goals in life. And their amazing ability to achieve them!
AND also their tendency to stick with a goal even if there’s little desire for it anymore.
See, goals are so good. The feeling of achievement can be a huge reinforcer post completion. Who doesn’t like to check off a list, right?
But when our focus is solely on achievement and access, we can lose sight of what matters along the way.
(Insert cheesy destination versus journey quote below!)
Your “why” as it relates to your goals is much more powerful when it’s as closely tied to your values as possible.
So what did this client end up doing?
We looked at the values identified next to some goals previously set (in this case they were pretty old and they couldn’t even remember WHY they meant so much at one point in time).
The next exercise was the whywhywhy practice:
Take a goal/achievement/desire you have
Ask yourself why you want it - get your first gut reaction
Ask yourself why that matters to you - go a bit deeper
Ask yourself again, so why does that matter?
Continue asking yourself why until your answer ends up as close as possible to because it means I’ll be living the way I aim to as ______
Not only will you feel more motivated about goals if they’re aligned with your values, you’re going to enjoy the process more on the path towards achievement.
If this sounds like an “aha” moment you need to experience, sign up below for an ACT Intensive session today!
In two hours we’ll do a deep dive right into what stresses you out the most about life and how practicing acceptance and commitment training strategies can lessen the struggles you feel each day. (Don’t be intimated by the two hours - we can break it up;)
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